I think Ricardo Montalban said it best, when he reappeared as the infamous Khan in Star Trek Two ... "Revenge is a dish that is best served cold," ... ahhh, yes it is and so are really bad horror films. For about 45 minutes I wanted sooo bad to click the remote OFF during this flick, but ... it's my job to bring to you even the crappiest of horror.

Hint to Hollywierd: Do not promote a driver to Director (Ken Barbet - transportation for Billy Madison, Johhny Mnemonic, Good Will Hunting, and Bruiser), even if they previously worked on the sets of A-list films. If you are in dire need of a Director, please hire me, instead ... I need the work, and have a spotless driving record!

Now, don't get me wrong ... I recommend watching this modern day B-movie. But only if you watch it from beginning to end, as I did. Don't give up on it! Oh wait, I guess I forgot to mention that misery deserves company, eh? well, my misery DEMANDS it! Hehehe ...

Dee Wallace Stone plays Sarah Fairchild, a corporation suit trying to buy out a slaughter house (I only wish that was a pun) in a small town. But the greedy board of directors, led by Jennings Wilhite (Corbin Bernsen), is not too happy with the offer she brings to the table. While the board members secretly discuss their options, Sarah investigates this small town's past.

Meanwhile, the spoiled brats of the board members have decided to party overnight at the local abandoned insane asylum. The teens want to play a kinky treasure hunt of each other's underwear's, invented by their pal Wendy. As the group scatters to hide their panties, one by one the group is whittled down as a killer seems to be sharing the old building. But not before we are treated with various flirtations over lesbian love, vibrating dildos, the art of toe sucking, a bit of bondage, sex and good ole voyeuristic masturbation.

Things start to get interesting as the hunted teens frantically try to find a way out of the old asylum. The board members keep reminding us that "sacrifices must be made" as their sons and daughters are being slaughtered (ok, that was a pun) nearby. But it's Dee Wallace Stone that saves the day as the film progresses, as she uncovers brutal murders that occurred 15 years ago. It seems one of the local residents went insane, escaped from the asylum and slashed a bunch of people. He was subsequently captured by the town's folk, and promptly hanged vigilante style. The town's people were exonerated from any wrong doing.

Alas, the sins of the father ... we discover who, how and why the offspring are being massacred, as the film reaches it's climax and we are tortured by the thought they might actually make a sequel to this nightmare.

Most of the cast make their acting debut in this film (hey look, even Johnny Depp started in these things), but their are a few notables:

• Sarah Fairchild, Corporate Exec turned Investigator - Dee Wallace Stone (classic scream queen from such tasty films as The Stepford Wives, The Hills Have Eyes, The Howling, E.T., Cujo, Critters, and a brilliant performance in The Frighteners)
• Jennings Wilhite, Head of the Board Members turned Fanatic - Corbin Bernsen (a bit of a late bloomer in this genre, but as made an impression in films such as The Killing Box, Inhumanoid, and everyone's favorite tooth-yanker - The Dentist and The Dentist II)
• Carl, the former asylum's intern who spills the beans about what really happened 15 years ago - Brian Anthony Wilson (The Postman)
• Wendy, the naughty teen that invents an even naughtier game for her classmates - Paige Moss (alumni of such teen series as Beverly Hills, 90210 and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, House of Frankenstein 1997, and Freaky Links)

The home page for this film seems to have been retired, so I will offer up the official web site to a stunning actress who has been so faithful to our horribly humble genre (be sure to check out the links page):

http://www.deewallacestone.com/